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If we can better manage disagreements, our relationships will be strengthened. The problem is, how do we manage disagreements? We can’t run away from conflicts, as disagreements and disputes will constantly arise in human interaction. And sometimes, we can be overly passionate about our point of view so much that we become blind to the opinions of others. Even though we don’t intend to, we let the discourse become uncivil.
This heated disagreement occurs in all aspects of life, from the work environment and family settings to friend gatherings. People usually believe strongly in their opinions and views. Suppose you meet someone that is not open-minded. In that case, it will be challenging to converse about a topic that is contrary to theirs and convince them. However, civil discourse aims to create an environment where people can share diverse views amicably.
It is essential to point out that this is a difficult thing to do but with willingness and constant practice, it can be achieved. Even after we have learned how to engage peacefully in civil discourse, there will be challenges. These challenges may come from difficult coworkers or acquaintances with a negative attitude. You can surmount these challenges by not letting them get to you. Understand that you may not be the cause of their problems.
Sometimes people’s attitudes towards you are a reflection of what they are feeling, and this also includes negative attitudes. When people feel that their needs are not being met or that they’re not being heard, they tend to lash out in anger and frustration, blaming their opponents for their reactions and justifying their negative actions. This leads to value conflicts. You can help them feel better by changing your approach and improving your communication.
Some people seem to live off negativity and conflicts. Changing your communication approach alone may not do the trick for these sorts of people. You may have to consider several strategies to manage their negativity and reach a position that serves everyone better. The following strategies and ways can be used to manage negativity better and arrive at a mutual conclusion.
3 Ways to Help To Dissolve Negativity and Arrive At A Mutual Conclusion
1. Find Common Ground
No matter how diverse your perspectives are, there must be areas you both agree on. Your job is to find those areas and focus on your similarities, not the differences. Focusing on your similarities will help create rapport with your opponent, and it can reduce the tension and bring a ray of positivity to the courageous conversation. Finding something you both agree on can also act as a great icebreaker and create a positive mood for the duration of the discourse.
2. Active Listening
Sometimes our attitude can also contribute to the response we get. This attitude may need to be more intentional, including things like not paying attention to the speaker. Active listening involves you maintaining focus during the duration of the speaker’s speech. We can lose focus when we are interested in something other than the topic. Nevertheless, the goal of being an effective communicator is to find the motivation to listen. Active listening is crucial because it helps the speaker to know that their message is being conveyed.
Also, it helps the listener understand the message better, which helps avoid misunderstandings that could lead to disagreements later. An active listener makes steady eye contact with the speaker to indicate interest and to show the speaker that they are following their points. Other behaviors like nodding the head and taking notes are also common signs that someone is actively listening to the speaker.
However, a controversial speaker may view some of these gestures as a sign that you are not listening. To avoid the speaker misinterpreting your gestures, you should ask clarifying questions to show that you are following and that you understand their position. When you employ these signs and gestures, you will understand the speaker more, and that will avoid misunderstanding. Consequently, the speaker will feel validated by the attention and the way you listen to them, and they will not need to lash out.
3. Avoid Attacking the Person
When conversations get heated, we often need to remember to show decorum and simple conversation techniques that ensure the conversation remains peaceful. If you find yourself in this position, it is better to retrace your steps quickly if you have gone personal by attacking the person or using a tone that provoked the response.
Final Thoughts
Negativity in conversation increase is due to a lack of conflict management skills. Suppose you are determined to resolve conflicts and reduce negativity in discussions. In that case, you need to improve your communication skills by applying the strategies mentioned above and acknowledging views that differ from yours.
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